Changes in your life

[CTG]

After checking the age of Stunts pipsqueaks I thought on the past 10 years spent in Stunts community. It's quite a long period and my life changed a lot since that. How could you summarize the difference between your current life and the age when you joined?

In 2002, I was a first year student at the university, full of self-confidence and motivation - but already after the serious liver illness. Having no PC, I had to use the old Pentium I computer of my roommate (or had to go to the central computer labs of the university). I spent less time on the internet, but it was more effective (not only hanging there without purpose, but chatting a lot with unknown people, playing several games, reading interesting articles, etc.). My financial status was under the frog's ass, but in overall I was a lot happier than now.

[Akoss Poo a.k.a. Zorromeister]

In March 2002, I was a first grade university student. I lived with my parents, and spent half of my life in lodging/dormitory in Debrecen. I was single, and I attended only a very few parties (moreover, I didn't like beer or wine). I didn't have Internet at home, I spent my time in the computer room of the university (I had to wait for the slow computers many times). I had a PC only at home, which was used by the whole family.

Later a lot of changes happened in my life. I bought an own PC, I managed to get a place in the dormitory, it was ideal for Stunts racing: there was nonstop Internet for me. Between 2004 and 2006 I had two girlfriends and three crushes, and in the end, I remained alone. I attended a lot big of parties these days. Because of my stipendium + pocket money, I had enough money to live a good life. I started to get less interested in Stunts racing - my ship came for me and took me away from the Stunts island in 2005, and I didn't make a real return since then, even when my girlfriend left me (computer problems also occured). I found some self-confidence and I lived in these three years the best era of my life (or at least so far). I also laid my principles regarding the woman -  (maleish) b!tches topic then.

Later my parents divorced, I finished the university, I remained unemployed for a while. I absolutely had no money then, and because both of my parents wanted to live their own lives, I had to move to my grandmother - it was an awful part of my life. I had no Internet then, only an old notebook, my solitude and my problems.

In 2009 September, everything changed around me suddenly (it happened really suddenly). I got a good job, other problems started to get solved. I managed to move to an own flat last year. I became an adult in my point of view. A month ago, I have a new girlfriend (after six years of break). I attend only a few parties. I took up hiking more seriously instead of going cycling. Stunts means only a little part of my life. I'm racing for fun again (or I think I will from now), and only on tracks I like. I still post here a lot. That hasn't changed. But all other things has changed around me.

Changed (2002 March vs. 2012 August): living with parents or not, leaving Debrecen (though it seems I'm getting connected to the city again), learning -> working (I am a PhD student, but it is rather a work as well), having or not having a girlfriend, becoming an adult, understanding the world more, playing less Stunts (no competitive Stunts), rather hiking and less cycling etc.

Remained: living in Kazincbarcika, posting in Stunts forum.

[zaqrack]

2002 was a year of change for me. I left the Technical University and broke up my first long-term relationship on three years. I went to work in a Burger King, saving enough money to buy a new bike. 
Then 2003 again changes, I started college, a 4 year course, which I liked a lot. I broke up with my girlfriend, found some real friends in the new school and went into some unforgettable relationships but no long-term girlfriend.
2004: new girlfriend, the second serious one.
2005: started to live fully on my own with my brother, with financial support from our mother. Spared enough money again for a new bike. Took up learning Chinese.
2006: broke up again. One week later I call and start dating my later to be wife Andi who I have first met accidentally precisely in 2002. We get together and she moves in to live with us within a month. 
2007: graduation. Already working independently (two part-time places parallel) half year before. December is a month of big changes - I turn 26, accept a serious job offer and propose engagement to Andi (naked ) on New Year's Eve. 
2008: I start my new job and traveling to China which I like a lot. I like the job less though. We start planning kids.  My brother moves out to his own flat, we are not living together the first time since he was born.
2009: Our wedding in January. I get fired in April but am only unemployed for 5 weeks and quickly find a two new  jobs, one of which I take but only plan to be temporary as I find it boring. I like it less and less and resign after two months - but am asked to stay and get my responsibilities adjusted. I stay and like it more and more. Then in August Barnabas is born.
2010: Quiet year, low but steady income, enough to live a modest life. I am enjoying being a father. In November return to China and get an offer to start-up our company's operation here. Maybe the most "boring" but enjoyable year in my whole life.   
2011: Move to China in March. Very hard and demanding year, lots of challenges and financially not worthwhile at all. Nevertheless we plan our second son. 
2012: Richard is born. We extend our stay in China to 2013 and earn a bit more, enough to save step-by-step so someday we can hopefully buy a flat of our own, but this is the year I realized we lost a significant amount of our accumulated savings due to a bad provider). Life goes on. We plan to have our third child born in China then return to Hungary - or somewhere else maybe.

Huge changes, huge.

[BonzaiJoe]

A month ago, I have a new girlfriend (after six years of break).

Congratulations 

We plan to have our third child born in China then return to Hungary - or somewhere else maybe.

I'm very impressed that you will take on having three children. I think it's going to make you very happy when you're older - and very busy until then, which is not that bad either. Hopefully we can hang out some time. Right now I have lots of time and no money. Later on I will probably have no time but a lot of money.

[BonzaiJoe]

Well, December 2000 was a long, long time ago. Basically everything has changed since then.

2000-2001: I'm a geek. Wearing whatever my mom got me. Playing too many computer games (Starcraft, Age of Empires... would never touch them now).

2001, april: walked home from a friend's house one summer morning at 4 AM, drunk, and singing an R.E.M. song: Find The River. That night I found out I was a romantic.

2001 and 2002: Too many hormones. Consecutive hopeless crushes on various girls. Beginning of the "danwa" age. Stunts activity: high

2002-2003: Teenage philosophical crisis. I read "Steppenwolf" and "The Myth of Sisyphus" and find out I'm "not like the others". Duh. Stunts activity: high

2003: I start becoming a little bit cool in my gymnasium, but not that cool. Fun times. I discover The Cure and become a goth. October 2003 I meet Lise.

2004: together with Lise. Stormy relationship. My life changes and is enriched very much, I'm challenged a lot and discover new sides of myself and what it's like to be very close to another person. Stunts activity decreases.

2005: Break-up, post-gymnasium nothingness. I deliver mail. Stunts activity: low. September I start Literature studies.

2006: Getting more and more goth. I decide I'm an immortal artist. I like to light a lot of candles, walk around in strange places in the night and drink too much coffee. End of 2k6 I get depressed.

2007: I'm seriously disillusioned with myself as an 'artist' and as 'someone special'. I skid up my arms and don't know if they'll ever come back again. I get nihilistic and start to consider myself a probable failure. Then on April 27, in a backyard in Venice, I meet a girl named Ursula and fall crazy in love. She rejects me, but I stay in love with her and everything begins to change again. I'm a stray in this age, not very serious about the university and not caring about anything except her, but there's no more depression.

2008: Still a hopeless romantic, still mainly thinking about Ursula. Then in May 2008, I read 'The Game' and everything changes. I begin to change myself radically for her, I have full motivation because of her. New colours and new light enters life. September I kiss my 2nd ever girl. Some Stunts activity again.

2009: the happiest year. 'Meeting' women suddenly becomes realistic. I get into a kind of relationship and I move to Copenhagen, which seems like a new adventure. New city brings more opportunities and a bigger life. First time at Roskilde Festival - the epitomy of sociality and extrovert joy.

2010: studies, new relations, moving into my current apartment and finishing a big city event project, which makes me grow up once more, feeling that I can take part in the working world with adult people. August I decide to leave Ursula behind. October we organize a big party and I meet my current girlfriend, although we wouldn't be together for real until this year.

2011: working with the Copenhagen literary scene, finally playing in a band that kind of works.

2012: end of university studies. I'm now a 'grown-up' with no job or money, but it's only been a few weeks. My friend wrote a 10-track album in 10 days, so I've challenged myself to do the same, but now my fingertips are aching from playing guitar and I still need to record a guitar part today. I don't know what I'll do. Painkillers? I still drink too much coffee. Not walking around in the night so much. Copenhagen is too big and I always feel like I have to get up in the morning. I'd like to, though.

[zaqrack]

I'm very impressed that you will take on having three children. I think it's going to make you very happy when you're older - and very busy until then, which is not that bad either. Hopefully we can hang out some time. Right now I have lots of time and no money. Later on I will probably have no time but a lot of money.

thanks! We may have four kids, but Andi is keeping her rights of cancelling this wish of her after each birth Unfortunately I don't have time nor money and probably will have neither in the near future - but I don't see this as an obstacle - we will meet soon

[zaqrack]

Well, December 2000 was a long, long time ago. Basically everything has changed since then.

2000-2001: I'm a geek. Wearing whatever my mom got me. Playing too many computer games (Starcraft, Age of Empires... would never touch them now).
...
2012: end of university studies. I'm now a 'grown-up' with no job or money, but it's only been a few weeks. My friend wrote a 10-track album in 10 days, so I've challenged myself to do the same, but now my fingertips are aching from playing guitar and I still need to record a guitar part today. I don't know what I'll do. Painkillers? I still drink too much coffee. Not walking around in the night so much. Copenhagen is too big and I always feel like I have to get up in the morning. I'd like to, though.

It was great to catch up with you 

[Usrin]

The year of 2002 started with my first exam season at the university. I spent most of my time in Szolnok, and only travelled to Budapest for the days of exams. My parents had divorced a few months before, so me and my mother moved to a smaller flat - and there I had my first broadband internet access. (Only very few and very slow computers were available in the dormitory, where I spent the weekdays in lecture seasons.)

Luckily, the first exam season was not hard, so I had plenty of time to discover the internet. I have entered three "new worlds": chat sites (big possibities for a single guy who's not good at meeting girls), meteorology sites (a strong and friendly community of weather fans and experts had just started to grow), and last but not least: a living Stunts community (after several races at TSST, a dying site).

University years (finished in the summer of 2006) were the second happiest time of my life, closely following 1995-1996. (Perhaps they shouldn't be compared, as it's not a big thing to be happy at the age of 13.) I studied what I was interested in (geology), I met several good friends, we had a lot of memorable trips and parties with fellow students. So I spent more and more time in Budapest, even in the exam seasons. I was active in several hobbies: astronomy, weather (in a good community with regular meetings), cycling (1-2 week cycle tours with an amateur astronomer group each summer)... Living in a cheap dormitory, having pocket money from my father and stipendium from the university, I could even save some money for the future.

That time I felt it easy to see the good (or in the worst case: funny) side of almost everything in my life. But there was a big exception: I was still single, and I desperately wanted to change it. I met girls on the internet again and again, with full of hopes. But the disappointment usually came before meeting them in person. It became a different story with my greatest crush, named Viki. I loved her even more after a few dates, and neither she rejected me, so it seemed that I was on the right way. But later she started to play unfair games, making me frustrated then hopeful from one day to another... and we never reached the point where we could call this a relationship. After two years, I got convinced that she was a notorious liar, who caused me much more pain than pleasure.

In the spring of 2006, I decided to stop the desperate search for a girlfriend, as it was not only a waste of time, but gave me a lot of stress and sadness in a period which would have been perfect from any other point of view. (That's why it didn't become THE happiest time of my life...) I started to believe that if there was a girl for me in the world, I would find her just by chance. It started to work. I had still no girlfriend - but neither stress and worries. I was occupied with my interests, I spent a lot of time with my friends, and could enjoy it even more than before.

By the way, I graduated in 2006, then got a PhD scholarship for the following 3 years at the same university. I started my PhD project with great enthusiasm, I also enjoyed teaching which I had to do besides. The scholarship money was low if regarded as a salary, but I still had my place in the dormitory, meaning no financial problems. The sad thing was seeing my friends "growing up" around me. They started to be busy with hard jobs, financial problems, serious relationships, marriage - and the communities which I belonged to started to dissolve. The weather fan community was destroyed in a different way, by its own organizers, taking their roles too seriously. However, it existed long enough to let me meet Borka (my present wife) on the Metnet webpage and meetings. In 2007, it was proven that my new 'tactics' (=taking no effort) to find a girlfriend worked.

Of course my life changed a lot from that time. I was happier than ever before, and finally could leave the dormitory (10 years in different ones was a bit too much, even if it saved me a lot of money). We started to live together in her flat - and my adult life began with all usual pleasures and problems. Our son Bálint was born in October 2008, and we got married in June 2009. However, having a child and being married changed our relationship in a very stereotypic way. Intimacy started to turn into routine, we had arguments on small, stupid things... (Although we were loving each other, and divorce was not an option, even in the worst times.) The most possible reason: a lot of everyday problems. It was difficult to map out our time, to make ends meet with our budget, there was always something about our son or our parents to worry about... Neither becoming a father was a cathartic experience for me, rather a huge responsibility which I had to take. The good side came only when Bálint was not an infant anymore, and I started to understand more and more of his thoughts. (I always knew about myself that I wouldn't know how to deal with a very young child.)

Meanwhile, I got my "dream job" at the Geological Survey when my PhD scholarship was over. The work was not too hard, but very exciting with income seeming to be sufficient. But it slowly went worse and worse. New leaders, increasing amount of boring work (far from science), fights between departments... And my salary was not sufficient anymore after having a child. But I finished my PhD, and after several steps (salary haggling, secondary jobs... things which I really hated), I decided to look for a job in Norway, where I had very positive experiences during two internships (2007, 2009). Now I'm here in Stavanger, having a good job (getting easier and easier as I learn all new stuff). I really hope that we'll be much happier with my wife and my son with a stable background, in a peaceful environment.

My family will join me in the first days of November - let's see how it will work! I'm almost sure that the most difficult part of the last 10 years (late 2011, early 2012) is over. My son is growing up, job & financial difficulties are solved, so the problems of my married life seem to disappear. If I'll have enough time also for hobbies, friends and communities (of course including Stunts!), the coming years will compete with the university times in happiness. Or will be even better, as I won't waste my energy on stupid things like lying bitches.

BÖFF!

[Usrin]

A month ago, I have a new girlfriend (after six years of break).

Wow, what a news! Congratulations! 

[CTG]

A month ago, I have a new girlfriend (after six years of break).

Wow, what a news! Congratulations! 

Mú #2

Btw nice summary from Usrin.